


Hero, Villain

by coughsyrup



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Asphyxiation, Choking, Dacryphilia, M/M, dubcon, potentially noncon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-24
Updated: 2013-05-24
Packaged: 2017-12-12 21:13:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/816123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coughsyrup/pseuds/coughsyrup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kink Meme fill. The prompt was, "When Yosuke cries on Souji's shoulder, Souji finds himself inexplicably and incredibly, like, almost-comes-in-his-pants turned on by it. Against his better judgement he starts trying to make Yosuke cry on purpose. "</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hero, Villain

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings for dubcon throughout and noncon at the end. Sorry it's not as smutty as I wanted to make it.

The first time it happens, it's an accident. Souji is a lot of things, he reminds himself when he doubts this, but he's not a bad man. He watches weird porn sometimes – but that's all acting. He's not hurting anyone by watching it. Souji would never hurt anyone just to get off, he's sure of that. He's not the bad guy here. Not the first time it happens, anyway.

Yosuke is still getting over Saki's death, he has been for a while, even now that they've faced shadow after shadow and that whole thing seems like it happened years ago. It wasn't that long ago, really, in hindsight. Yosuke still has a right to be upset, still has a right to wobble slightly when the subject is brought up – and Souji brings the subject up. He shouldn't say anything, he knows that, but Yosuke makes a noise like there's a lump forming inside his throat, he breathes weirdly heavily like he can't quite draw air past the way the muscles in his throat constrict. Souji tells him that it's okay, he can talk about it now. He opens his arms up and Yosuke settles in them. He shudders as Yosuke tries to suppress a sob and Souji can feel the vibration of it against him. He feels the whole of Yosuke's torso heave as that sob finally breaks free. He feels the slight damp of tears slowly sinking into the fabric of his shirt.

He strokes over Yosuke's back for what seems like ages, trying to keep his own breathing steady, trying to focus on making calming little noises and telling Yosuke how it's okay, it's fine, he's here, he can cry. He can cry all he wants, Souji won't judge him. He can cry for hours if he wants to.

By the time Yosuke pulls away, minutes later, he still hasn't noticed Souji's erection trapped in his jeans. He doesn't notice when Souji awkwardly excuses himself to use the toilet, doesn't question it when he takes a few minutes longer than perhaps he needed to. All he does is thank Souji for listening and Souji feels like a bad guy for long time until he reminds himself that he did nothing wrong. Not really.

\- - -

The second time it happens, Souji is still telling himself he's not the bad guy here. That he hasn't done anything wrong. It's not strictly true and he _knows_ it deep down but he tries not to think about it.

He probably should have stopped after he asked if Yosuke was still upset about Saki and his partner quite unsubtly moved away from the conversation. He should have taken it as a sign. But he didn't, he just tried to look for an opening for a different method. That should have been his first clue that maybe, just maybe, he wasn't such a great guy after all.

He tells Yosuke that he's heard Chie might have a crush on someone else – he knows Yosuke likes her, after all, it's obvious. When that doesn't work (and it takes him a while to work out why it doesn't work, that it's not Chie that Yosuke likes), he asks where Yosuke's parents are, if they're working, if they're always working. If he needs to vent about it. That works better and he at least gets an angry tear squeezing its way out onto Yosuke's cheek. It's enough. He's not perfect, maybe he's a bad guy, but at least he stops there.

Mostly he stops to kiss that tear away, his cock hard in his jeans, and it doesn't take much convincing to get Yosuke's hand inside his pants. Less convincing than he'd thought it would. 

Afterwards, Yosuke asks what this means for his sexuality. Souji doesn't comfort him as immediately as he maybe should have. The more flustered Yosuke gets, the more likely he is to start crying again – and Souji isn't disappointed. Eventually, he comforts him with round two - sucking his partner off while Yosuke sniffles and Souji nearly comes again in his jeans.

\- - -

They're dating for a little while before Yosuke finally lets Souji take him. It's not that Souji's forced him, not at all, because he's not the bad guy here. He's not a bad man. But he knows Yosuke's not a hundred percent sure when Souji takes his jeans off, and no amount of licking and sucking over his cock quite calms him down. Souji reminds himself that Yosuke would never have been a hundred percent sure on the first time, no matter how long they dated. It's painful and Souji spends a long time prepping him but it's never quite enough, Yosuke never quite relaxes.

Souji's not a bad guy, but he does enjoy the way Yosuke tenses up when he enters him, the way his breath stops and he's obviously trying to calm down. He's not a bad guy, but he doesn't go as slow as he maybe should, and when he realises that Yosuke might cry again he convinces Yosuke to get on his back rather than on his hands and knees. That way when he pushes too fast, too hard, into him, he can watch his eyes screw up as Yosuke desperately tries not to well up. Souji whispers sorry as he fucks him.

Sorry it hurts, sorry there's nothing I can do about it, it'll be less painful next time, you're doing so _well_ , I'm so sorry, I love you, I'm sorry, I love you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

He doesn't slow down and he doesn't intend to but he hopes his apologies make up for it. It's only when Yosuke finally gives in and lets a sob finally heave through his body that Souji shudders and comes inside of him. He pulls out and sucks Yosuke off until they're both exhausted and Souji cuddles him gently while they both fall asleep, stroking over his back. Just because he's not perfect, it doesn't mean he's a bad guy – and he goes slower after that. He can't, after all, go fast enough to make Yosuke cry again without really hurting him. Without doing something that'll make Yosuke break up with him. He goes slower after the first time because he's not a bad guy. Because he doesn't really have any other option, not if he wants to keep Yosuke coming back.

\- - -

Souji tries not to think about whether he would still be dating Yosuke if his partner wasn't such a crybaby. The over-sensitivity during sex just gets to him and he tears up – Souji has never been so grateful for a bodily reflex in his life. He's not a bad guy, he doesn't even have to do much to prompt it. He just learns what works and what doesn't, when it's too sensitive and when he can keep pushing through that sensitivity to get that reaction. Of course, when Yosuke says stop, he does. But it isn't too long before he's coaxing Yosuke to let him start again. He manages to convince Yosuke to do a lot of stuff. Sometimes he feels like a bad guy.

Well, it's not really like Souji has much choice but to try and convince Yosuke to do more, not really. After a while, after the first few months, Yosuke stops being so sensitive. He starts learning how to stop himself from crying. He stops turning Souji on so much and it's just frustrating. He doesn't want to break up with Yosuke because he thinks he might love him, sort of. And Yosuke's so pretty, so fucking _pretty_ when he's sniffling and clinging to Souji with those big eyes wet and his lips, red from kissing, pouting and wobbling as he tries to hold back sobs. 

Souji convinces Yosuke to let him pin his wrists down when he fucks him. He convinces Yosuke to let him go harder or to hold his wrists too tightly or to let him give him a hickey that he bites down too hard for. He pinches his hips, slaps his ass – and Yosuke isn't really into any of it. The hardest thing is to convince Yosuke to let Souji put his hands around his neck and squeeze, and he says afterwards that he doesn't want to let him do that ever again. Souji's just mesmerised by how the tears fall harder the harder he squeezes, and it only takes a month before Yosuke lets him do it 'just one more time'. 

\- - -

Souji knows he should have told Yosuke from the beginning what it was all about, what exactly was the hottest part of this for him. He knows that, of course he does. He can see the uncertainty and damaged self-esteem in Yosuke's face as he's trying to work out the pattern, why Souji sometimes comes in seconds, sometimes can't finish at all. But as much as he thinks he might love Yosuke, Souji's partner is a terrible actor and Souji prefers it to seem real. It just wouldn't be the same if Yosuke was trying to cry for his benefit, if they were crocodile tears. But soon the real tears become less and less frequent and it doesn't take Yosuke long to work it out – he gets it quicker than Souji gave him credit for. He can't help but squirm a little when he has to try to explain it. He's not a bad guy, he tells Yosuke, he wouldn't ever hurt him on purpose. He just has specific tastes. He can't help it, it's not his fault. He's not a bad guy.

Yosuke's uncomfortable about it – Souji hadn't expected anything less. But he tries, bless him, he tries. He says he can't really cry on command but he'll try, maybe Souji could pinch him or something, maybe they can try and make it work. He wants to try and make it work – for him. For his partner. For Souji.

It all makes Souji feel a little guilty when he's got his hands around Yosuke's neck again, fucking him slowly and squeezing hard – harder than Yosuke wants, than he tries to allow. Souji feels so very, very guilty when Yosuke's trying to claw at his arms, thrashing and desperate because Souji's fingers won't loosen, won't get off of him and Yosuke can't _breathe_.

Souji lets go of him, of course, before anything goes wrong. After he comes and before Yosuke passes out. He's not a bad guy, after all. And while Yosuke tries desperately to wipe away his tears, yelling at him with a hoarse, cracking voice that he keeps coughing to correct, Souji's still reeling from the best fuck of his life. He's not a bad man, he reassures himself. He's not the bad guy here. He didn't mean to do anything like this.

He's not sure he believes it anymore.


End file.
